Archive for ‘Christian Living’

May 11, 2013

An Apology from a Christian


[ This post was originally written as a Facebook status and grew into something much longer than I intended. I felt the need to share it on my blog, even though I haven’t posted in quite some time. ]

I’m sorry.

To those of you who have been badgered, judged and attacked because of what you do or don’t believe that may be contrary to Christian beliefs by Christians.

To those of you in the church that feel so unloved, unwelcomed, unwanted and unimportant to your church body – like you’re invisible, like you wouldn’t be missed, like you don’t matter, like you have to pretend every second you are around “those people”.

To those of you who have been severely, deeply, unbelievably hurt and scared by the church because of any lies, backstabbing, gossip and hypocrisy – things that made you leave the church because it was so contrary to what they taught, things that made you turn and run because those in leadership treated you poorly and made wrong decisions, things that made you question whether God really was love because of how the people in the church were running things.

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October 4, 2012

How to Find the Church That’s Right for You

Nearly two years ago I set out on a journey that would radically change my life and I decided to bring you all along with me. After growing up in the church, my beliefs had changed to where the types of churches I had been going to just weren’t feeding me anymore… I knew I needed a change, but had no real idea of where to start or how to find a new church home. So, I sat down and came up with my own roadmap of how I was going to find the right church for me – and wouldn’t you know it worked?! Here are the posts I wrote throughout the process:

January 15, 2012

Fare Thee Well, Lonesome Dove

When I was 10 years old, a darkness seized my life and broke my heart, mind and spirit. A darkness that made me feel alone, unloved, unworthy, ugly, selfish, stupid and like a complete mistake. I spent 8 years completely alone in my darkness – I didn’t even let my parents in. 8 years of hiding my heart, my true self, and spending the last years of my childhood in a cloud of loneliness. Depression started in my middle school years and by 9th grade, I was pretty deeply into a secret, angry solitary state of unhappiness. I found ways of dealing with the depression that weren’t as awful as they could have been I guess… I wrote poetry constantly, but not the kind of pretty stuff that you want to read. I wrote in a cryptic verse that no one could possibly understand unless I told them the true meaning behind it – and so long as they didn’t know what it all meant, I knew it sounded absolutely beautiful and intriguing. I seriously felt like no one in the world truly loved me since they didn’t truly know me – and that if they did get to know me and know about this darkness that they would go from not loving me to actually hating me, and I couldn’t have that either. At least the limbo wasn’t so bad, right?

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November 23, 2011

A Time for Thanks (Seriously)

I’ve done it again – gone and not posted for over a month. *Shameful*.¬†Nevertheless, I have plenty of fantastic and wonderful things to update you all on!

At the end of the day on September 15th of this year I lost my very stable, comfortable and local job in Nashua. It was so completely unexpected and I was worried about finances and all that jazz. I began collecting unemployment and did everything I could to be ridiculously frugal so that I could still pay my student loans, rent and other bills. From time to time at my church we take time together to declare certain things over our lives – we have a set of PowerPoint slides that we go through and say aloud together which includes things such as thanking the Lord and declaring with Him for jobs and better jobs, benefits, sales, commissions, bills to decrease, blessings and financial increase to name a few. I remember one Sunday we did this and I was nearly in tears. Then that night my ever so wonderful boyfriend, Derek, had me put one hand on my wallet and the other on some of my bills. He asked me to simply pray “Lord, increase this (my wallet hand) and decrease these (my bills hand).” It seemed so silly, but I did it. Over the next month, I was noticing that some of my student loan payments were less than they used to be and I was actually having more¬†money left over in my account each week than I had working full-time previously! It was unbelievable! And God wasn’t finished yet…

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